Having our children leave home is, for me, a very difficult thing. It started years ago when Casey left for his mission and then college. Blake too has been gone for a long time with brief periods of returning. Holly moved out again last week to live on her own. Now Lucy is to be married. Dave and I are empty Nester's.
Last night while talking to Casey and then later to Blake, I found myself offering advice on things that I thought were important. After hanging up and reflecting I felt somewhat chagrined. My boys are really now men who have been on their own and I must say doing it quite well. What is this compulsion that I still feel to "control" and will it ever end? I am trying to learn to be available if advice is asked and to be quiet when it is not. It hasn't been going well. Lucy has been very patient with me as I become more and more frantic worrying whether I have taught her all that she needs to know before she leaves. I am not a stupid woman and yet have acted rather stupidly lately.
My life is changing again and though I may not be ready it will happen. President Monson reminded us in his talk last November that, "nothing is as constant as change." There is much to look forward to and yet I keep looking back. As I find my way my heart is full of gratitude and love for those who are dearest to me. Be patient.
6 comments:
I really don't have anything wise to say...just want you to know that you are not alone. I really don't like change and I don't like not being in control. I think we are all in the same boat...unfortunately.
Wendy,
That "compulsion to control" thing.....it's just being a mother.
And you will ALWAYS be a mother. Unfortunately, change is inevitable and it comes like it or not. As I see my girls growing so fast I keep telling myself to just enjoy the moment and the journey with them...
love you,
Julie
I'm with Marci, I have no advice. But I know that my family is the thing that I cherish most in my life, and everyday it seems to mean more to me. And hey, you never know you could end uplike my mom and never really get rid of us...we all end up living with her again and again. I would still be there if we lived in the same state and she would take me. Good luck with the wedding plans and we love you!
Empty Nest is a difficult time of life for us mothers. It's something that no one really prepared us for and it's hard! I remember when my oldest left for college, I cried for days. I will tell you though that it does get easier and there are even some perks included. AND it makes the time your family is all together that much more precious. Hang in there!
My Mother's un-needed advice use to drive me crazy-until I had my girls-now I see no matter how old they are you still feel the need to give them advice-even on the simplest of matters. I realize now it's just the over flowing love of a parent that just can't never be stopped-not nagging advice :)
It's ok mom, I didn't mind the phone call. It just came at a somewhat inopportune moment since I was trying to negotiate a crowded gas station in Baker, CA.
:)
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